Saying Goodbye

Peanut (aka Mini Pearl) RIP September 1st 2000- May 7th 2009

It's hard to find the words to say want I need or want...
Peanut, my dog passed away 3 days ago. She was 9, but she had been with me for only 5 years. I found her abandoned at a subway station in Seoul, and brought her home. I saved her from a horrible possible life on the streets or worse, and she saved me from myself.

Her lack of presence gives me the emptiest feeling. A void so big created by such a small creature. The anxiety that comes with the realization that she is really gone.

Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy- I'm sure I can hear her little feet walking across the floor, suddenly small white dogs seem to be everywhere.

In the end, I know it was her time to go. She let me know that she needed to say goodbye. She waited for me to come back from Japan, and for that I am grateful. I try to think about all the good things about our time together, the happiness she brought into my life, but all that comes into my head right now is her last few minutes- holding her, resting my head on her little body when her heart beat for the last time.

I know it's all like an open wound right now, and that as time passes the wound will heal. Part of of me is afraid to heal, to let go and move on because I dont want to forget her, or make her passing seem less important than it is. I feel almost guilt in my moments of happiness, and the only thing that makes it better is knowing that she's not in pain anymore. She can finally rest.

We buried her on a Thursday evening near a stream, under a jasmine tree. I go visit her everyday, light some incense and cnadles and sing her songs. I also thank her for the wonderful life she shared with me, and hope she felt happy and loved everyday.

I miss you Peanut, more than I can ever put into words.

xoxo

The Infamous song, of where my name stems from, by Jim Reeves

That time of year

Well, it's here again. It is indeed spring, but I'm talking about something else.

The reason I had been given the nickname "GypsyFeet" way back when: Itchy feet; The season to leave.
I don't know why, I have no idea where it stems from, but at least once a year, I gotta move. I gotta go, take off, disappear and soothe the Gypsy inside of me.

Was I adopted from a band of nomads? I doubt it, but I have no other explanation as to why I feel the need to get lost every once and a while. To see the world, do something unexpected- basically to run away from my everyday life.

When I discuss this with my family, they don't really understand, seeing how I already LIVE in Korea, and travel every opportunity I get. Last year this time, I was ready to move to Cyprus, in the Mediterranean, but decided on Jeju, and a trip to Taiwan and then Hawaii instead.

Taroko Gorge, Taiwan

Honolulu, Hawaii

But it's something else. Something I haven't been able to put into words for most of my life. I get anxious, antsy, panicky, anticipating what life is about to bring next.

My given name, Vanessa, means 'Butterfly' so maybe it has something to go with the cliche of trying to keep a butterfly in a jar. Maybe I need to look at what I feel is holding me back...

The idea of total freedom is almost like a drug for me. The feeling of selling off all my material belongings and just taking off gives me this sense of purpose and euphoria. The ultimate high.

Maybe it's the loss of control, and not knowing where I will wake up is what's so alluring.....

Anyways, I'm off to Kyoto for 5 days next week, which will hopefully keep these gypsy feet of mine content for a little while longer.

* some photos borrowed from Flickr, deviantart, google images

My studio is on it's way

I'm finally in the process of setting up my jewelry studio again.

It's mostly in boxes spread out over several locations at the moment, but it's getting put back together slowly.

Me and Myles are setting up my equipment and building a bench in His and Jessie's garage.
I'm pretty excited about it! If you want to check out stuff I've been making lately go to Etsy:

http://www.shmookittydesigns.etsy.com

New wheels

I got a new bike! It's orange and purrrrdy. It makes me happy

Spring has cometh

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Relaxin in Jeju

In the 6 months I've lived on Jeju, I've tried to take in as much stuff as possible. I've seen most of the stuff on the North side of the island, and down the west side, but I hadn't explored the South so much.

This past weekend 2 friends of mine from Seoul came to visit, and I finally was motivated to get up off my my ass and do something, since I really haven't since Fall. We Hiked Halla Mountain on Saturday, and went down to Jungmun on Sunday. I'm still all hurty.

Friday, after they arrieved, we went to La Vie, a small cafe bar in downtown Shin-Jeju located behind the Milano Crown Hotel. It's cozy and chill, and the owner is sweet. It's one of the few places that foreigners on the island go regularly. It has a small bookshelf when you go in, with books people have read and want to pass on to others. I've been there a few times now, and always bring the books I'm finished with, and grab a new one.

The three of us played Dirty Scrabble, while drinking a bottle of red wine. It was a short game... I couldn't concentrate once my nachos arrived. We also ordered the Avocado and cheese sandwich, I was pleased with it all.

Next, it was on to the JimJil Bang, or Sauna. We went to the big touristy one called Young Duam Haesu Land, Which means Dragon Head Sea water Sauna. I LOVE going to the public bath houses and saunas. I find them incredibly relaxing, and I am not at all bothered by nakedness. My friends we rent so comfortable hangin out in the nude with all the other ladies there. One of them did finally join me in the showers and hot tubs, but she was shy. Joyce, my other friend waited for us in the main area where all the hot rooms are.

For anyone who has never been to a Korean sauna, there are certain etiquette rules to follow. Koreans are obsessively clean about their bodies. Back in the day when everyone didn't have private baths, families would go the bath house together. Things have changed since then, but the principle is still the same: to get your body clean and rejuvenate.

It's usually between $4-9 to enter a sauna and they have separate facilities for men and women.

Once you've paid, go into the changing area and grab a locker. You can bring your own shower stuff from home, or you can buy small packets of shampoo, and what not inside. Get naked, grab your soap and head for the sauna/shower room and scrub yourself down at a shower stall.

Depending on the size of the place, they will usually have 3-5 tubs, all at different temperatures.

Once you are squeaky clean, test out the different tubs. Sometimes they will have a "green tea" bath or some other medicinal like soak. If you are really brave, you can have one the ladies that work there scrub you down for an extra $15 or so. but be warned: They intend to scrub the first layer of skin off your body. it hurts. but afterwards, your skin will be baby smooth!

The idea is to be naked in the hot tubs, so I don't think bikinis or swimsuits are welcomed. I've never heard of it or seen it, except for the odd foreigner that doesn't know the rules. If anyone has info on this let me know.

Once you've turned into a prune, you can dry off and change into your shorts and t-shirt provided by the sauna. Head to the meeting place, where men and women can hang out, and try out some of the hot rooms to sweat the toxins out of your body. You can buy face packs for $1, that make you look really creepy, but are nice and cool. There is usually a canteen or restaurant there, and you can stay as long as you like. Koreans love goin to the saunas, and the weekends are usually busy. It's a great way to unwind. Buy yourself a big bottle of Iced green tea or a can

of beer and kick back!

We left around midnight, after a very chill evening, not anticipating waking up at 6am to climb Halla.