Things I think will work, but usually dont.

First, let me just say, that I always have the best intentions when I think I'm improving a situation....

Thank jeebus that I have better sense not to "improve" anything at work. I would have been fired 11 times over. I save all the good stuff for my home life.

There are things I deem minor, like, not knowing how to turn the sub-woofer off, so just ripping the cords out of the back of it so it doesn't make noise anymore. This, however does not seem minor to my boyfriend, who has to spend 45 minutes trying to get the computer and TV to recognize its old friend subwoofer again.

Giving the dog a Mohawk. I saw picture online of this dog who had an awesome cute red Mohawk. I wanted this for Kuro. Even though they weren't the same kind of dog and had completely different fur, it didn't matter. It also didn't matter that I didn't have red hair dye. or clippers to shave the rest of him. What I DID have were scissors, pink acrylic paint and very impulsive personality. The result was a crusty, hot pink mohawk, with horribly uneven haircut. absolutely NOTHING like the dog in the picture.

The acrylic slowly crumbled out of his fur leaving his entire coat, minus his face and legs, a light pink. He didn't seem to mind, but I knew he felt uncomfortable when we went in public around other dogs.

Here are some pictures: I'll let you decide if they are similar:

What I was envisioning: awesome right??

What I got ^.... not so awesome.

This Morning was another fine example of my brain at it's best. Since Christmas has ended, and family has gone home and I stopped eating like a god damn pig, Ive decided that I was going to rid my body of all the toxins from the holiday, and do a cleanse. I chose the simple Lemon juice, cayenne pepper and maple syrup with water, to get the job done, and let me fit into a bikini again before our Jamaica holiday in March.

In a friendly debate with my boyfriend, I googled to find out if Cayenne and red chili powder and paprika were the same. For all intents and purposes they are; they come from different peppers, but do the same job. I won the debate!

I did NOT however, google where chipotle fit into things. In my superior, debate winning mind, I assured myself that they were probably the same. So, I liberally dumped the smokey smelling powder into my lemoney and maple syrupey drink.

I can now assure you, that Chipotle is in fact, NOT interchangeable with Cayenne. or Paprika. As I took my first big gulp, there was a burning, tingling sensation on my tongue. I had no where to spit it out, I had to down the concoction. my eyes watered, my nose watered, my face turned a hot red. My coworkers thought I was choking, as I made hissing and gagging noises. when i could breathe again, I let them know that i was not dying, they could go about their day.

So, I have spent the last 2 hours pouring little bits out and filling it back up with water to weaken it. But I think all I'm doing is agitating and igniting the sulfurous spice, making it spicier. and I just. keep. drinking it.

Why wont I just pour it out and drink regular water, you ask? Because I will not not defeated by a chili pepper.