What I've recently learned about myself

There is a pattern. I see it very clearly at times, and at other times it is foggy and difficult to spot.

I seem to jump to quickly into things. I seem to not want to take helpful advice from close friends and family, even though I know they are right. I seem to want to believe that something is what it isn't. I seem to be wrong about relationships a lot.

I guess I'm seeing clearly for now, but it may not last. So I'm going to take advantage of this opportunity to remind myself of the things I've learned next time the situation is uncertain.

There are good things and bad things to these truths I have uncovered; good that I have caught on to the pattern and therefor can choose to do something about it. Bad, that each time I repeat the cycle, I care less and less.

The series of events goes something like this: I'm happily single for a while, content to just travel and make my jewellery, hang with my dog etc., and suddenly meet someone who I know in some ways is not always a good match for me. I go along with it anyways, curious to see how it may turn out. Before I know it, I smack in the middle of a "serious" relationship. How did I get there? How did I wind up making future plans and sharing "i love you's" with someone I wasn't even sure about from the beginning? Well, I think I have an answer. I get caught up in wanting to believe that what I have is something way more fantastic that what it actually is. I want it be how it is my head. But, alas, it seems that the reality is never as satisfying as the fantasy.It seems that my fatal flaw is being in love with the 'Idea' of being in love, that gets me into hot water.

Once I realize this, it's time to leave. At one time, skipping the country was a favorite escape of mine, but as time wears on, I have less energy, and less motivation to even give an excuse as to why I'm leaving.
Once I'm single again, the cycle will eventually repeat itself within 6 months. Each time, I become less and less emotionally attached. I think what bothers me the most is not caring, not having an emotional reaction at all when saying bye to someone I cared about. The problem may be me not taking enough time to consider how things will turn out, or already knowing how things will turn out, but not caring at the moment.

For these things I have no cure. I don't know what the answer would be; "look before you leap"? "Patience is a virtue"? How do I not let what's in my head cloud what's in front of me?
For now, I have simply admitted to "having a problem" and isn't that the first step to recovery? .... wait, I'm pretty sure that's what they say to alcoholics... meh.